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I didn't realize responses came so fast. I really don't want to punish her or myself. Nor do I want to play the victim forever. Not that you said that here but I am trying to respond to others also here. As far as what questions I have.

The day after D-day I asked some questions and she answered but some I knew were lies because she was ashamed and afraid I would bolt. Let's face it "affairs" are all about lies. After giving some time to prove I was neither going to be mean or beat her up with it constantly I just wanted to pick a day to sit down and calmly talk it through and then put it to bed permanently.

Problem is whenever I asked if it was a good time to talk she was the one that got angry and just wanted to forget it. The meanest thing I ever said was "how convenient for you to be able to have an affair and sweep it under the rug". Anyway, the answers I still seek are; I do want to know some of the gory details only because I don't believe the ones I was told that first day and it would help me trust if I thought she was capable of telling the truth about it. It is important to me because I just do not want to take part in anything they did together, I know that sounds stupid but how do I know she isn't hearing a that they danced to she told me they danced and is playing out memories with me.

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