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So you're wondering where the heck you'll be able to watch the Cubs get creamed and be served domestic beer by a topless woman — somewhere other than at home , that is. Or not kick you. While you're there ask about DD's very competitive keg prices. They or the ladies will knock you over. But for their now-legendary inaugural bash they went one step further: To get in, you had to creatively bare a "meat diaper," a human-sized cloth version of the traditional blood 'n' guts sopper-upper, somewhere on your loins.

But wait, there's more: A DVD "invite" starred Splendora Gabor and Linah Cocaine , a charming duo of oh-so-proper dandified Sissyboy drag queens who occasionally blurt such improper words as "cock 'n' balls" out of their lipstick-stained mouths in French, no less. The press kit appropriately arrived in a Styrofoam, cellophane-wrapped tray complete with our very own meat diaper. They've got porn in there. Not outright porn porn—there are no black plastic wraps in this joint— but crotch shots are crotch shots.

While sipping wine and waiting for your pubes to be ripped out with hot wax, check out the little black coffee-table album. They've got Polaroids of freshly shorn bush —or non-bush, to be exact. You can see landing strips in a variety of shapes, barely there bush and bald bush. And if you flip to the end, there's even dong! All for the price of a stranger plucking your short-'n'-curlies. A small price to pay for a privates show, if you ask us.

The top choice of hotel guests by far: Only about one in eight guests take advantage of this cozy and comfortable bedding benefit. Or just spread them on the floor and pretend you're at the Sultan of Brunei's or Michael Jackson's birthday party. Geez, how can anyone have too many pillows? Religious fanatics who claim to be His mouthpiece warning the rest of us to mend our sinful ways, lest He unleash a devastating flood upon us: In a torrent of homophobic rhetoric, the pastor shared what the Lord told him in a dream: On that day, He would send a giant wave across Portland to wash away the sinners in the Pride Parade.

Maybe Pastor Day meant the wave of goodwill among the revelers. Portland brides and grooms, take note: Don't schedule your wedding for Nov. That day holds the dubious distinction of greatest chance of rain—that's 80 percent, according to the National Weather Service. July 22, with 3 percent chance of rain, is your best bet in PDX for open-air nuptials if you like it hot, hot, hot this year, it topped out over degrees. Better yet, defy the gods and tie the knot in Salem on July 12, which has been rain-free well, at least until this year, when two-hundredths of an inch fell from the sky since the NWS first gathered data in the late 19th century.

He was also tired of the usual jams being played at queer nights across the city: Did the gay scene have no soul? Why not please the gays and the hip-hop heads all at once? Now Mondays downtown mean watching breakdancers show off their spins while blinged-out queer couples grind to Aaliyah in the corner.

Ask any guy in Portland: Local stylist Tiffany Willden's tush is, in one word, mesmerizing. She's well-known around town for her subtle white girl's bubble butt: Lo's but still substantially adorable in jeans her favorite are a pair of Gold Signs from Blake. And it's not like Willden works out to make the ass stand up and say hello.

It's her hearty Colorado hillbilly genes. She expands on the subject by modestly admitting, "Everyone in my family has this ass, but mine's the best. Willden for the miracle that is Tiffany's backside. In the meantime, if you should catch her at a bar listening to bumpin' beats, ask her to shake her rump.

It's a spectacle to behold. It's common knowledge that Crush mixes up some tasty cocktails, but, every week, this trendy wine bar also invites white witch " Wanda Weegie" really a warlock named Mitch Calhoun to mix up knockout Wiccan potions booze every Wednesday night at Crush, SE Morrison St.

In fact, "Wanda" was kind enough to send WW a freaky charm box full of mystical fare like dried apples and herbs, candles, ribbons, photos of herself looking all enchanting and even a dollar bill to pique our interest. Come for the mixers, stay for your fortune, and leave with a dry rub for your next pork roast—for free! Fred becomes Felicia for a day or for life at Over the Rainbow Transformations , a "dress-up studio" in Tigard Owner and girlieness guru Victoria Sinclair performs whatever services are needed to transform a middle-aged, hairy, muscle-bound tractor operator into a princess —from body waxing and makeup to "mannerism lessons" and shopping trips around town, for the final test of believability.

Most enticing, ironically enough, is the closet: Sinclair, a Texan "raised surrounded by bigots," first opened her doors to transgender friends as a private club in When the demand outgrew her time, she started charging for gender transformation services. Now, the genetically female mother of three is a doting den mother to a wide variety of clients who range from straight part-time crossdressers to post-op trans women looking for new makeup tips.

Sinclair's eventual goal is to run a "transgender community center offering resources, funding, events and everything else. Share on Google Plus. By WW Editorial Staff. Best Unintentional at least we think Porn. Best Place to Order Bedroom Service. Best Day for a White Outdoor Wedding. Best Free Stuff from Another Dimension. Best Hangout for Hairspray Fans. About WW Editorial Staff.

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