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You went into the kitchen cupboard got yourself another hour and you gave half of it to me We sat there looking at the faces of the strangers in the pages till we knew them mathematically They were in our minds until forever but we didn't mind we didn't know better.

So we made our own computer out of macaroni pieces and it did our thinking while we lived our lives It counted up our feelings and divided them up even and it called that calculation perfect love Didn't even know that love was bigger Didn't even know that love was so, so hey, hey, hey.

So we made the hard decision and we each made an incision past our muscles and our bones saw our hearts were little stones Pulled them out, they weren't beating and we weren't even bleeding as we lay them on the granite countertop and we beat 'em up, against each other we beat 'em up, against each other we struck them hard against each other we struck them so hard, so hard, until they sparked. It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song you can't believe it you were always singing along it was so easy and the words so sweet you can't remember, you try to feel the beat eeeeeeeeeeee eet eet eet eeeeeeeeeeee eet eet eet.

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song you can't believe it you were always singing along it was so easy and the words so sweet you can't remember, you try to move your feet it was so easy and the words so sweet you can't remember, you try to feel the beat. He stumbled into faith and thought, God, this is all there is The pictures in his mind arose And began to breathe And all the gods in all the worlds Began colliding on a backdrop of blue.

He took a step, but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while but when he tried to walk again he wasn't a child and all the people hurried past real fast and no one ever smiled. He stumbled into faith and thought, god, this is all there is The pictures in his mind arose and began to breathe And no one saw and no one heard they just followed lead The pictures in his mind awoke and began to breed. They started off beneath the knowledge tree then they chopped it down to make white picket fences and marching along the railroad tracks they smiled real wide for the camera lenses they made it past the enemy lines just to become enslaved in the assembly lines.

Come and open up your folding chair next to me My feet are buried in the sand and there's a breeze There's a shadow, you can't see my eyes And the sea is just a wetter version of the skies. Let's get a silver bullet trailer and have a baby boy I'll safety-pin his clothes all cool and you'll grafitti up his toys I've got a perfect body, though sometimes I forget I've got a perfect body.

Now I've been sitting on this abandoned beach for years Waiting for the salty water to cover up my ears But every time the tide come in to take me home I get scared, and I'm sitting here alone dreaming of the dolphin song. Maybe one day you will understand I don't want nothing from you but to sweetly hold your hand till that day just please don't be so down Don't make frowns, you silly clown.

I collect my moments into a correspondence with a mightier power who just lacks my perspectives and who lacks my organics and who covets my defects and I'm downloaded daily I am part of a composite. Everything's provided consummate consumer part of worldly taking apart from worldly troubles living in your prewar apartment soon to be your post war apartment and you live in the future and the future it's here, it's bright It's now.

But god could be funny at a cocktail party, while listening to a good god- themed joke or when the crazies say they hate us and they get so red in the head you'd think they're about to choke god could be funny when told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way and when presented like a Genie, who does magic like Houdini or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus god can be so hilarious Ha- ha Ha- ha.

But god could be funny at a cocktail party, while listening to a good god-themed joke or when the crazies say they hate us and they get so red in the head you'd think they're about to choke. Two birds on a wire One tries to fly away and the other Watches him close from that wire He says he wants to as well but he is a liar.

I'll believe it all there's nothing I won't understand I'll believe it all I won't let go of your hand. Two birds on a wire one says come on and the other says I'm tired the sky's overcast and I'm sorry one more or one less no body's worried. Two birds of a feather say that they're always gonna stay together But one's never going to let go of that wire he says that he will but he's just a liar Two birds on a wire one tries to fly away and the other Watches him close from that wire he says he wants to as well but he is a liar.

There's a meat market down the street the boys and girls watch each other eat the boys and the girls watch each other eat when they really just wanna watch each other. I went walking through this city like a drunk, but not with my slip showing a little like a drunk, but not and I am one of your people but the cars don't stop and I am one of your people but the cars don't stop It's been a long time since before I've been touched now I'm getting touched all the time and it's only a matter of whom and it's only a matter of when.

I found a wallet I found a wallet inside were pictures of your small family you were so young your hair dark brown you had been born in nineteen fifty-three. Your winter birthday was stamped on the plastic of a license, so recently expired I was so tired as I walked through my door I laid all the contents of your wallet on the floor.

And like a holy relic Or a mystery novel I thumbed them in the dim light searching for a clue A blockbuster card An old stick of juicy fruit A crumpled receipt from a pair of leather boots. I have no wallet I have no wallet I keep my cards together with a blue rubber band and with a free hand I search in my pockets for pieces of pieces of paper and change.

I'll take your wallet to my local blockbuster they'll find your number in their computer you'll never know me I'll never know you but you'll be so happy when they call you up. Hold on One more time with feeling Try it again Breathing's just a rhythm Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right This is why we fight. The man of a thousand faces sits down at the table eats a small lump of sugar and smiles at the moon like he knows her.

And begins his quiet ascension without anyone's sturdy instruction to a place that no religion has found a path to, or a likeness. His words are quiet like stains are on a tablecloth washed in the river Stains that are trying to cover for each other or at least blend in with the pattern. Good is better than perfect scrub till your fingers are bleeding and I'm crying for things that I tell others to do without crying. He used to go to his favorite bookstores and rip out his favorite pages and stuff 'em into his breast pockets and the moon, to him, was a stranger.

Now he sits down at the table right next to the window and begins his quiet ascension without anyone's sturdy instruction to a place that no religion has found a path to or a likeness and he eats a small lump of sugar and smiles at the moon like he knows her Time is all around except inside my clock everybody's waiting for their lover to unlock.

You step on all my parts and then you walk right out the door And I know that your love ain't ever coming back no more. Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die when they're about to fall from trees when they're about to dry up. I hallucinate a cat between my feet I'm stepping lightly so as not to hurt it Everybody's wants to say that you have changed of course you've changed, you've changed You've changed, your minds been rearranged.

But leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die When they're about to fall from trees when they're about to dry up. Don't let me out of this kiss don't let me say what I say The things that scare us today what if they happen someday Don't let me out of your arms for now. What if the sword kills the pen What if the god kills the man And if he does it with love well then it's death from above and death from above is still a death.

For those who still can recall the desperate colors of fall The sweet caresses of May only in poems remain no one recites them these days for the shame. So what if nothing is safe so what if no one is saved no matter how sweet no matter how brave What if each to his own lonely grave. You just gotta wait. Thought the mountains would crumble And the rivers would bend But I thought all wrong and the world did not end Guess the maps will just have to stay the same for a while Didn't even need therapy to rehabilitate my smile.

Thought the mountains would crumble And the rivers would bend But I thought all wrong, baby I thought all wrong and the world did not end The maps will just have to stay the same for a while Didn't even need therapy to rehabilitate my smile Rehabilitate my smile.

Yes please, some more. Oh, it's much too, much too late Oh, it's much too late How late? Very late, too late Now, the people of New Guinea and the people of LA Have been pen pals for years cause they both hate ballet Only the pandas and bears have made a clean getaway But the news bulletin claims it's gonna to be ok Now, Miss Lucy had a sweatshop where the immigrants worked Problem was they all turned to pumpkins at the twelve o'clock stroke Promptly confiscated by police precinct number X That was when the alien geraniums demanded the facts No violence, of course.

No violence, no violence, of course Hey, hey no violence, of course. Why yes, of course I mean, I mean, of course. Why yes, of- of course. Here the story gets hazy and her hair gets too long And the TV gets quiet as we hear a real bad song The mothers get whiskey and the girlfriends get tongue And there's a back of a truck selling smoke free lungs And there's a back of a truck selling alien pods And there's a back of a truck selling game show hosts And there's a back of a truck selling the souls of the dead And there's a back of a truck selling crumb free bread This is New York!

Now, there's a back of a truck selling the back of a car And there's a back of a car selling roadway maps And there are roadway maps selling the back of a head Hey, how much for that back of a head, man? Hey, wait a minute Hey, wait a minute Wait a minute, that's- wait a minute, that's my back of a head! Hey, you can't sell that, man! That's my back of a head! Hey, hey sell it back to me, man. Sell it back to me Hey, it's- it's mine. D-O-W-G She had eaten her dog, d-d-dog, d-d-d-dog, d-d-dog She had eaten her, eaten, eaten her, eaten, eaten her- ohh Mmmm-mm-mmm.

Oo-ooo-ooh Oo, some more? Yes please, some more Some more? Yes I'm putting the boulder to my ear And I still can't hear Whadya think I was an amateur Playing with my temperature. My name is Lucille and I know how you feel I live downstairs I hear you taking out your garbage I hear you loving your girlfriend I hear you loving yourself too I hear you turning your thoughts off Oh, I hear you turning your thoughts off And it get's quiet.

Must have done something 'Cause that's how it works Must have been kind to kittens and birds In a previous life Must have thought happy thoughts Because there, you were there right beside me Then somehow inside me While inside myself Books on the shelf Thoughts on the shelf Hands to myself I should definitely keep my hands to myself.

Love is a dangerous pastime Caught between madness and gladness of flight Nothing is wrong and nothing is right Falling asleep in your arms every night But Love's such a strange situation Full of frustration and anger and fear Everything's tears Nobody hears Nobody's here, and nobody hears. Sunshine in the morning In the morning light Won't you come down from the ceiling Won't you stay the night Baby won't you stay the night.

Never never mind, bleeding heart, bleeding heart Never never mind your bleeding heart Never never mind, bleeding heart, bleeding heart Never never mind your bleeding heart.

And all the lies, they were wiser And the wise were the liars And the liars were on fire And the fires were put out Just to be lit again.

All the debts they got settled And the settlers got cattle But the cattle was rattled By the snakes that were guarding The garden gates And you retired just in time You were about to be fired For being so tired From hiring the ones who will take your place.

All the lies on your resume Have become the truth by now And the things that you never did Have become your youth somehow You know everything by now. Somewhere below the Grand Hotel There is a tunnel that leads down to hell Take the dumbwaiter, the laundry chute Then sneak through the hall Past the boys shining boots Then left at the courtyard, through the old garden Where all the bellhops smoke with the guards.

And then you run to the old lake house Down to the old lake house Run to the old lake house where it begins. Somewhere below the Grand Hotel There is a tunnel that leads straight to hell But no one comes up for the souls anymore They come for some comfort And for the dance floor. All my love In black and white On this color photograph Sad sad eyes Know too much You will always start to cry. All my love In black and white On this faded photograph Sad sad eyes Know too much You will always start to cry.

Eyes are closed now Count the stars inside your mind Count the breaths, count heartbeats Count the sounds of life…. The trapper and the furrier Went walking through paradise And all the animals lay clawless And toothless before them And all the mothers stepped away from their babies Leaving them open and easy to handle. The owner and the manager Went walking through paradise And all the shelves were filled With awards and achievements And on every corner a power presentation And on every floor an army of workers.

The owner and the manager Went walking through paradise And all their charts showed So much promise and progress No sick days, no snow days, no unions, no taxes And they wandered towards home, Kings of their castles. The lawyer and the pharmacist Went walking through paradise And all the sick were around them With fevers unbreaking Crying and bleeding and coughing and shaking And arms outstretched, prescription collecting.

The mind runs fast Your thoughts are louder than your words And every time you turn around it starts to hurt It starts to hurt But you wanna be heard Wanna be heard. This is how I feel right now Obsolete manuscript No one reads and no one needs Pages lost, incomplete No one knows what it means.

The sellers of flowers Buy up old roses They pull off dead petals Like old heads of lettuce And sell them as new ones For cheaper and fairer But they die by the morning So who is the winner Not the roses, not the buyers, not the sellers Maybe winter….

Because winter is coming Soon after summer It runs faster faster Chasing off autumn We go from a warm sun To only a white sun We go from a large sum To only a small one. But no one lives long enough to see the outcome To know any answers, to know what the point is To know if the winter ever came closer Than on that night when I walked with my father. A small piece of ice Lodged in my mind Lodged in my thoughts Lodged in my eyes Cold all around, cold all around Warm from inside, warm from inside.

She shuffles around Turning the lights on Goes to the kitchen Gets the champagne Opens the window And wrapped in a blanket Begins to count and wait. They say you can hear it Over the island Starting in Times Square And spreading throughout A roar like the ocean It comes from a distance Grows louder, then turns quiet. She sits in a dream Or in a memory While old conversations Play in her ears Sometimes the minutes Feel longer than hours Some days feel long as years.

She sets her alarm Five minutes to midnight And wakes just in time To say her goodbyes Thanking the old year For all it has brought her No mention of the things it took away. She shuffles around Turning the lights out Closes the window Checks on the locks Folds up the blanket Empties the bottle And leaves it in the hallway dark. The one who left he dropped his smile And they sat quiet for a while Then the one who stayed began to speak And in his words he answered why. Be careful before you decide The universe is too big The universe is too big You cannot make a mistake You cannot make a mistake.

You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth I have to go, I have to go Your hair was long when we first met. Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head He ate a slice of wonder bread, and went right back to bed And history books forgot about us and the Bible didn't mention us And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once.

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Intimate moments, I finally decided I would want to be her partner.. In fact I decided to marry her.. We got engaged, and I had to travel away for 6 months. In this six months she hardly showed any interest towards me.. I never felt that she even missed me.. I should have understood the situation but I was fool enough to think that it was just circumstances and that she is not very good at long distance relationships.

On the day of marriage I knew she was tired, so I dint make any physical moves on her. I waited for the honeymoon. Honeymoon just turned out to be A fun trip roaming around New places. No love, no sex from her side, except one pity dry humping session. I have tried to initiate sex with her for the last 2.

I feel like she is not at all interested in me anymore. And being married to someone and not having sex even once since marriage for 2. It is affecting my entire personality and leaving me very passively aggressive, and also taking away any self confidence left. But it has now got me addicted to porn and masturbating. You get Birthday Sex…. I am considered to be some over sexed pervert for expecting sex on my birthday. Twice a year… I know no amswers to resolve this problem. Of course the wife sees no issue with it.

Not planning on wasting much more of my life with the frigid woman! I am 61 years old and have been married for 33 years.

My husband suffers from low self-esteem and e. He was a virgin when I married him at the age of He was an alcoholic who went to bars almost every night of the week, leaving me alone. He told me after 3 years of marriage that he will never touch me again and pushed me to the floor. I was only in my early 30s and still very much needed him sexually.

I thought he would change his mind but never did even after 33 years. I am now 61 and looking back on my life I feel regret and resentment. I am very depressed and am on depression meds because of this. All those wasted years without sex, affection or love. He never gave up his first love which is porn. Today when we go out places his eyes are all over 15 year old girls.

It is a knife in my heart to know that his fantasy through our marriage has been for teens. Dont waste your good years waiting for a spouse who has no intention of loving you. Please listen to me and leave today not tomorrow.

It does not change. Liz, I am 37 and I married my husband when I was 20 and he was I first remember being turned down for sex nearly 10 years ago. The night it happened I woke up at 3 am , alone in bed. I walked to the living room and could see the light of our computer shining down on to me as I looked up the stairs into our homeroom. I slowly walked up stairs and saw him jacking off to girls dancing naked on a bar. I think I dissolved into the stairs right then and there.

I love to please a man that loves me. I want to be the body that he explores and desires. We have sex about once a month. We never have sex at nighttime.

However, how do I leave. I left my career to grow his business with him that once we had our daughter he slowly pushed me further and further out of. I am afraid if I were to leave, he would make it to where I would not have custody of my daughter. I got off and went to rehab and it was a mess.

It was like he wanted me to be seen as a person with a problem. He was perfect and I was the crazy wife. I have been slandered by my husband to law enforcement and he had his mother call cps on only me claiming I would leave her home alone while I played shows on the weekends. That never happened, she lives 12 hours away and our daughter was always with my mother while my husband and I played my shows. I just want to love and to be loved. This world is hard so hard. We are all sinners… I want to be someones shelter from that outside pain and be able to run for cover to their arms when Im most in need.

We all deserve that. To be honest, I did think about cheating. But I never met a decent woman who was interested in a married man. But my ex accused me of cheating anyway to anyone who would listen to her made up stories. I think about cheating all the time too. My boyfriend only have sex with me once or twice a year. Is it ok to cheat and still be in a relationship with him? Everything is great, just sexless. I had the opposite problem! I had to beg for it! And what a fool I was! Dominant, controlling woman is not that great in bed, and can ruin a good man!

My wife told me that she cant stand me touching her, that was 2 years ago not long after coming back from a girlie holiday. Ive not touched her since nor had any sex. I was always suspicious of these girlie holidays so i didnt have any sex for 8 months before her holiday, and she never made any sexual advances towards me in that 8 months,, 2 weeks after she came back i found a pregnancy test kit in the recycle bin it was negative by the way. Yesterday I was going to leave with my son.

I was waiting on an airport van when my husband woke up I was going back to friends in the mid west. My husband came out and told my 3 year old to come to him which he did, he told him that mommie was leaving so say goodby and kiss her because she was not coming back. I was crying asking was he going to keep me from my child because I had an Illness. I am by polar he listed off that was not the case, I was leaving him because I was an oath breaker that could not be trusted to stay on my meds or even take care of our son when I went into my manic phase.

Yhe van arrived and I paid him for the trip and went back inside. I just wanted my friends to not have to deal with my husband and his ideas that he has the rights that everyone else does.

I felt that he was always trying to bring the local social structure to its knees It was not just because they had less seniority but they were also dealers in cocain and other drugs. A real pet hatred of his and I said it really was not his business what they did on that job he just needed to back off.

He left four very badly mauled men in front of our house the next morning and me with a broken ankle for locking him out of the house to hear those men out. His Father and Many felt my husband was not going to get away with his defiance to the agenda they had and started using harsher ways to keep him from what he was demanding It eventually earned him a nickname the retaliation and left grown men crying when they had to try and deal with him Christmas it was thought o0ur deacon came up with the perfect plan by claiming Religious need over my husbands refusal to work the down week My Husband Decided he was going to Ruin his life in response to making him work both the Ireland vacation and The holidays, I told him before the Ireland trip if he wanted to go he could have just taken our offer in He would have been rewarded with that time off and Even a sex life and holidays but he had to tell all of us to drop dead then try and cause us to do so.

My husband had cleaned the accounts out and changed the locks then had gone someplace we could not get to him His Union Minister got us in to see him the day after labor day and He had been told what i needed, He had it ready but hardly would talk three words to us. He left looking white. It was The union Skilled trades moral representative. Latter that Fall I was trying to get someone to get my husband to come home so we could all sit down as a family and decide what the holidays would bring since he was supposed to be home , The Union and Company had already said lesser seniority was working or they could look for another job.

I was planning for his participation in the thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and we had already started hearing of the problems other people had with working. Like the need for their children to have them home, their first holidays as a married couple I was asked if I remembered how it was My first Christmnas as a wife, It was the most lonely time in my life, My husband was feet under the surface Atlantic ocean.

I was at my mothers in Virginia. I Thought after my husbands return just a couple of years to let things shake out. They never did and everything went as i said from bad to worse with my husband listening to nothing or trying to do any thing that was agreeable to any one. After his Return From three years of rehab in there had been so many hateful things exchanged, from not signing him out of rehab for the holidays.

HIs father for three years said It was just to much of an imposition to go get him and take him back He was the only one besides a nurse in the rehab, everyone else was with their families for thanksgiving and Christmas. I was going To Isrieal in , his father started yelling he was not going to impose himself on any thing he had not been a part of in 40 in years. I ran for the nurses station when i saw how angry he instantly became withy that remark. I paid with the man i was with the night before He paid with nearly every bone above his chest methoidically broken, I was made to watch as my husband beat him to a pulp for the sweeping of his cane and then being laughed at and called pathetic.

My husband I think took a lot of pleasure in nearly killing him and wished his father was there to do the same. Nothing My husband does any more is a way to peace unless he gets his way. I met my husband while in high school, together for 25 years with 2 close to grown children.

He is my soul mate, I would never want to leave him, we have so much together that brings us so much happiness and joy on a daily basis. But over the years, his sex drive has been going down, we have sex maybe times a month, he is just not interested at all. I have been very open and we talk about this a lot, cause I would like it times a week. I let him know that I feel so alone, rejected, and put on a shelf to collect dust and cobwebs.

I feel like divorce is not an option either, we have great joy in reminiscing over our lives, where we have been and what we have accomplished along the way and that brings us so much joy and happiness and enriches our lives and the lives of those around us, friends and family!

Outside of sex, we grow as individuals and as a family unit just fine and make a great team in life progressing professionally. Our goals and dreams are aligned and we work our asses off to better our family daily! I feel like several factors have played into his refusal of my sexual advances: Knowing all of this, I feel like finding another married man on the side who is also in a sexless marriage might be the best option for discrete and safe sexual exploration so that I can feel fullfilled as a person!

In this scenario, my needs are met and fulfilled without having to pressure my husband for sex. The only downside would be if he found out and the ramifications of that! Also my loyalty would be tarnished, I would become a liar and a cheater, and I question if I could live with and deal with that myself! Calgon, take me away…lol Who would have thought that having great uninhibited sex could be so difficult of a task!!

I know how you feel and long for all the same things you describe. It hurts to be in a 20 year deal and wondering if you should have checked out 10 years ago. For me raising our kids has been the only reason to not divorce. The feeling of an unfulfilled desires really hurt , when you know that other people get it all the time. I hope to find resolution to mine someday. I have been married 25 years. We have been off and on for the past 6 yrs.

I moved back in witth him 2 yrs ago. We sleep in a bed 2gether. Nothing…im53 he is 61…I find myself wondering just what the hell am I doing.. Do I want to stay in this marriage. I just want to be loved. Stephanie, I am in a similar situation. We have a great relationship otherwise and I keep weighing our friendship relationship versus our intimate relationship.

Being tired, losing a job, seeing birth, feeling rejected when he was a stay at home dad 11 years ago. There is always an excuse. No sex or demonstrative affection is grounds for divorce.

It comes under the heading of abandonment. I am in a similar situation. My wife refuses sex every time. I found out the official definition of a no-sex marriage is 2 or less times a year here. Stupidly I have stuck to my vows.

Until recently , that is. It has caused me to attempt suicide twice unsuccessfully, had to have depression and anxiety counselling etc, etc. And I still have no self esteem, feel worthless and unattractive and at 62 I admit I am panicking.

So, she went off abroad on a fantastic holiday with one of our daughters and I felt abandoned. I plucked up the courage, got bloody-minded and found a nice older sex worker and booked in for an hour. No feelings of guilt, remorse, or regret. The unexpected thing was that I managed it and I felt wonderful. For three days there was no depression, I was smiling etc.

All the things that are a dead giveaway when you have proper sex, Albeit without love. I booked in for STD testing and am now waiting for the final results. You guessed it, no reason to worry as not the remotest chance of sex since she got back. I still love her and wish I could do all the things with her that I did in the hour with the sex worker. Interestingly I had ED problems with my wife anyway but with the sex worker I was rock-hard for an hour, and repeated.

Well, I went to a sex worker because I wanted to prove to myself I could still perform and wanted someone who knew what she was doing but no danger of starting a relationship. I think it was the start of me considering actual divorce.

My Marriage is both mentally and physically abusive with me being the victim. No pride in saying that, by the way. You think you know but only that will affirm it. Do you want to though, is another matter.

How do relationships that start out so beautifully and with such love, expectation, anticipation and goodwill sometimes, often, become so toxic? In some cases this change happens not long into the relationship, while others take a considerable time. I am sure people entering into relationships do so believing that theirs will be different to all those other ones that fail.

I can not believe any sensible person would embark on such a journey not caring if the partnership fails. So what goes wrong? One could be forgiven for believing that the percentage of marriages that survive till the death of one partner is quite small, I wonder what the figure actually is. I am sure all would agree, sex in the early stages of a relationship, then marriage is bliss, there is nothing like it. Were this not the case then surely it would be a warning sign that trouble lies not far ahead.

I think great emphasis is placed on the importance of hot passionate sex, we have the expectation that unless it is then there must be something wrong. If we slack off, the quality is likely to slide as well. I can laugh about it now. That was back in February I just turned 70 recently, my wife turns 66 this October. All through our married life we never fought, never argued, we did disagree from time to time, nothing serious.

We seemed to get along fine as a team. Three children came along eventually. We know now the mistake we made, we did not communicate with one another. I am not talking about the things that keep a household functioning, there was always plenty of that happening of course, it has to or things fall in a heap very quickly.

Make it your business to know what it is that really matters to that person. Even minor irritants, if left unaddressed can turn into major issues at which stage it can be difficult to draw them to the attention of the partner without sounding negatively critical. It is best to nip such things in the bud early than late before real damage can occur. We never did any of this, our mistake.

No one ever suggested it to us, our relationship seemed fine, why fix something that aint broke? Well the fact is it can become broke over time. All through our married life, intimacy was always, always initiated by me. I was never denied sex without good reason, for example after childbirth or if she was unwell. I can never say denying me sex was a weapon she used. I will say she was never very adventurous. She seemed only to like very ordinary sex while I was keen to try new things.

We never discussed these matters, I guess we both felt awkward and still do talking about such things. By not communicating clearly what she liked and did not like and the same for me, meant we could not meet the needs of each other. This I have to say frustrated me. Further to this, as mentioned earlier I was the one initiating all sexual activity and it was beginning to dawn on me that she was not enjoying sex, again this is what I sensed, it was not directly communicated to me.

I concluded that my wife was engaging in sex with me because she felt an obligation to, by virtue of our marriage, conjugal rights.

This revelation came to me around or I am not sure which year it was exactly, certainly not later than I reasoned that if my wife was only engaging in sex to satisfy my carnal wants and not because it was benefiting her then this was sex that was not worth having. It is important to me that we both get the same enjoyment from the activity.

This being the case there was only one course of action to take, cease and desist. I would no longer initiate sexual activity. It was my reasoning that if I was incorrect in my assessment, that is she did enjoy our sex activity then she would let me know, eventually.

I mean to this point, sex was happening, I think two or three times a week. So I reasoned that after a few weeks she would inquire as to why sex was off the agenda and we would have a discussion about it. Well weeks went by, months went by, nothing not a word. I concluded that my suspicions were correct and that she was relieved that hubby was finally over sex, at last, thank God for that, thought I was going to have to please him till one of us croaked.

Well folks as I said that was back in or we have not had sex since that time. Some will be wondering why I did not speak directly to her about it rather than conduct this test. I wanted to know her honest untainted feelings. That being said, I am here to tell you that our marriage is not in a good state. I feel unloved, undesired and emasculated. I feel resentment, I feel like I have been used, for maybe 44 plus years, was I just convenient to provide the means for her to have our children.

I feel that possibly she never loved me from the start. Her need to produce children is what drove her. This year we have been to marriage counselling in an attempt to bring it back from the brink. That is where I learnt that our big mistake was not communicating. So where to from here, I feel at our stage divorce is less of an option, for financial reasons, so we just live under the same roof as we always have done.

I am very hurt by these events, I miss very much not just the sex but the comfort that comes from embracing someone you love. It is obvious that my wife is self contained, self sufficient that I am superfluous. I feel like the male spider that after copulation the female spider eats him.

I never wanted our relationship to travel this road, I wanted nothing more than to worship and love her till one of us died. It is hard not to become bitter and twisted, I have to admit that I would not rule out having a relationship with a lady that might have similar needs to me, since I can not envisage any change of attitude in my wife.

In saying that, I would not feel that I would be cheating on my wife since she obviously has no wish to be intimate with me, if you understand what I am saying.

I would feel obliged to tell my wife. More than 44 years together and that is what it has come down to. My husband and I started out having sex a little less than I was used to, but it was enough and when I asked him he did bother to satisfy me, which quite a few men do not even consider. So we were happy enough. Then a few years went by, and the sex diminished to once every two months, then three, then six, and then twice a year only after discussions, arguments, anger, and no response.

I tried talking to him sweetly and honestly, but he was not into that. He started gaslighting me, twisting my words, accusing me of things that were not true—anything to detract from the problem.

IMO he has some odd ideas about sex, maybe connected with his religious upbringing, although he is a bar kind of guy and not a religious one. I felt ashamed and shamed by him for wanting sex. We have been together since and dealt with these problems since about , so this is an year problem.

Then I hated having him spritely come up and touch me or kiss me because he meant none of it. It was just a tool for manipulation. So without meaning to, I developed a horrible crush on another man, who is single and nice. So my husband and I do all kinds of things separately, so I went to a convention in another city in June, went out to a piano bar that I know in that city, and met a really nice guy at the bar, who started coming onto me right away.

He was smart, attractive, and totally safe in that he lives across the country from me. He was just flirting and patting me on the but, so he was really shocked when he got beyond first base to my hotel room. The sex was passable, and I was exhausted from 18 hours or so of work at the convention, and I had to push him out the door to walk to his hotel room at 3 a.

No, not a one. I just want to find someone close to home that I really care for, who will take care of my needs and accept me as a married woman. If it really works out, who knows what could happen to Mr. Asexual said he would be terrified by the thought of being single again. He is 60, and I am So last night when I asked for sex nicely yes, as the woman I have to ask , he did finally give me sex. He often goes back to the way things were before.

Why should I pay the economic price for a divorce at this age? Maybe he would be okay with it just to take him off the hook. That in itself angers me even more. Yes, I have been married 48 years and noticed a change in my husband. I started picking up on texts from another woman, ever time I called him on it he lied. He went out of town once month and Saw her frequently, while playing ball.

There is one reason that when a husband is in a sexless marriage he can be kept in it. I am bi polar and was when he got out of the navy after 3 and a half years under water. The state did not want him to ever dump me on them to support. So They hit him with a guardianship his second day home that made a divorce so expensive he could have had millions and still been relegated to living in a cardboard box to pay my way.

I left him sexless with promises that his cooperation was the only way he would ever have a family, I was the carrot dangling out in front of him as the reward if he just kept cooperating with everyone. In November i was on my knees begging him to cooperate just one klast time and the sex life he wanted, the time off he wanted, the vacations he wanted and he could choose a new position off the next bid list that went up in 2 weeks, All He had to do was back off the one he was taking that next monday.

Just let it go to the four that had better social and political connections. I Had told him the lasrt 16 years that if he would just consider only the times we dictated in from The Begining of January to Valentines day. We could make up holiday times with his personal time and use his vacation for some thing that nobody else wanted to do. We could figure out something interesting for him then instead of getting in the way of honeymoons and weddings, Family needs, Even Social needs needed to be considered before his.

That why he should not consider the UAW ciotracty and seniority as written by gods finger. He started punishing everybody on November 6th after i had offered everything he wanted after sixteen years, He told me he wanted a wife that did not blackmail him with her body and break every promise made. I was at a looss that day to back him off a job bid in favor of for others with far less seniority but higher social needs.

I never thought that the Rage created over the dictation by me and his father would spawn 35 men badly hurt. His father and i had caskhed his reservations in to lert a man with 2 years to his 34 years seniority go with his four month pregnant bride on The Express as their honey moon. I was holding a dollar check to give him at his work gate Christmas day with the first vacation that any one knew of since his sophmore year of high school He had been violent the last eleven years the last Christmas in forcing two men out of the back of his fathers car at 45 mph on asphalt trying to get him into work and choking his father unconsious with another man hitting on the hood of the car from inside, He was just not being in the least cooperative with any thing he had not since , Things were deadly by that point all because he wanted it his way.

I knew on that May morning he had not had a day off other than one six day surgical recovery, since It was a situation I was not able to deal with when he threw me across the TSA office that morning when I was trying to explain it was only seven months until we had a surprise for him in 8 months he did not have to have that slot that someone else needed so bad to get a decent start on their life. Ours got off to a terrible stare so why begrudge them.

He also had to have his fingers pried of his fathers throat and it took seven men to hold him from killing us over something as stupid as his vacation right. Three years latter he had let himself get so depresed over this stupidity that in October he became ill after compromising his immune system with MRSA He lost the feeling in his legs after MRSA ate up the Disks in his spine causing a slip crushing and partialy severing his spinal cord.

I have repeatedly had to beg forgivness since his return home from Rehab in , That keeping him sexless that way was not meant. It just happened because he defied those in more needful positions. Within two weeks of his return he had just about killed an old Boy Friend I had been seeing the last year he was in rehab after we found out that he was going to remain defiant, knocking his father out one night with a bed pan to the face in I Had promised six months before he was out of Rehab and a strees center that i would go to an Invitation only event with his mother, father and his fathers best friend, it was only going to be four hours out and back, when the center sent him home by taxi.

I walked out of the bedroon straight into his chest and i did not even gert the first word out before starting to beg plead and cry to pick a place to meet after the event and we could try and sort through the Grievances he had.

We could arrange a time table to allow his inclusion over a few years. HE anounced that we allowed him nothing, he was rthe only judge and arbitor in what he was allowed in his house and he was not going to ber promised any thing or compromise another right for me or any one else That i was going to be the wife he expected 31 yearts before and he was not going to let me say no after i let o0ther men have what was supposed to be his.

When He shredded a new dollar cocktail dress saying i was not wearing any thing to be on the arm of any one else that he had paid for. I was trying to cover myself begging things did not have to be this way in anger and rage. When he forced me to the floor and had his way. I got up a while later hurting and bleeding a little because I tried clamping and fighting back, He was going to go on to hurt his fathers friend that evening, By throwing him at his arriving fathers windshield off the porch His father got stopped to quik and his friend slammed face first in the ice and concrete.

As of his mothers funeral last June i have had to come to grips hes not going to be peaceful about any thing concerning his rights, and worry he will kill someone if interfered with. Hes broken hisv fathers jaw, and a year latter his neck, At the funneral his sister at his fathers urging tried to arrange for a private service after the main one and we walked into a very scared group after my husband slammed a good family friend off walls and concrete after breaking his arm in four places for daring to try and tell him to come back latter, If the friend had just listened and not laid a hand on him to keep him out we might have got him to listen, as it was he told his father siting with his brother and sister the first word there would be another funeral that week, his fathers.

He has hurt friends trying to take CPS Custody from the state we used to live using a ax handle on them. We live miles west of where the order was issued. Things have beco0me move and counter move with my husband coming out on top, legaly, theres nothing any one can do.

It only vaguely relates to the issue being discussed here. Hey Bobby, there actually is someone here, me. I decide to approve or not every comment on my website. Bobby when I met my husband he was going into trident Missle fire control computers on trident submarines and trident Back Fits He worked on Rockets that had the potential to reduce 8 different targets over miles away into radioactive holes in the ground with each rocket.

This whole group was dour with their noses in books studying and its the closest thing to rocket science as any body knows. He had servedin the army Five years before we met as a Battlefeild intelligence Analyst and communications repair He also had his air born wings and air assault When we met he had been out of the army for the time Between to during which he worked in a big Three auto manufacturers transmission plant as a Machine operator Making transmission parts.

He also Served in the state Guard during this time. When Hesaw that the Economy was going to tank in the recession the week before his seniority was due to be laid off he left on military leave to the navy We met seven months later and married a year a and three months after that in January We could not catch a break with the navy making him board a Greyhound COD to Jaxsonville and replacing one of five crewmen that were busted in a drug test going to sea the net morning out of Kings Bay.

That was the wedding night he was forced to give up due to the needs of the navy. I am not going to say my husband is any thing but brilliant at times. He threw himself into Qualifications that first patrol earning his dolphins and Missile Control Center Technician before the boat returned. Then the real Needs of the navy kicked in Another boat going out the day of crew turnover lost a crewman to appendacitus. He was my husbands rating and they were getting ready to sail.

I watched as he crossed to the out bound boat to take the mans place. He was just the lowest rank with the highest qualifications, Six months later He was loaded on another boat that had a man miss movement. And another six months gone.

I was hoping when the crew bus pulled in that he was spending the next 30 days with me on leave and I had thousands saved for the off crew and hopefull honey moon that we had not had a chance for yet when a New Seahawk started spooling up One of the other wives said that was not a good sign for one of us.

I saw His CO And XO come out of group head quarters with an ordered packet and stop my husband as he climbed off the bus they Grabbed his Seabag and bum rushed him to the seahawk that lifted as soon as he was aboard I started the first affair the next evening with an Air force officer.

He was the brother of one of the crew wives months later I had my first bi polar manic episodeputing me first in a South Carolina mental hospital until my mother came to get me 30 days later and I went to Norfolk With her for a year. I went to the Midwest a yea latter with my husbands mother and father after getting my husbands flat no. He was going to get out and go back to the plant in seven months. This was not the answer his father or the community wanted In the last two years the Workforce had grown from people to He was returning with about other men and women to more seniority than 60 percent of the work force He was higher than people on the seniority list which by contract gave him The right to Switch shifts, Take better jobs, Take or refuse weekend overtime as he chose if it was not percent.

The way these Men And women with seniority saw that contract You would have thought it came down From Mount Sianai written by the finger of god Two years after my husband came home I had kept him from disrupting area lives for two years by using the promise we could start a sex life two years after he returned if he just left the idea he had an automatic right because of the contract. Just 2 years to let the are settle Then we could start a family without animositys.

Two Years latter I am promising if he let a young couple have his vacation slot to go to Rome on the trip my husband wanted and get married, That upon our return I would Start the sex life, let him have the three weeks he had coming and even take his personal time of 12 days. We went to Rome Had the wedding and We talked about the vacation I had promised my husband as the real start of our marriage. We decided that The best time for him to take three weeks and not impact other vacations was from the end of the Christmas shutdown to Valentines day.

We flew into hell on earth He was not waiting six more months, He was leaving the day we flew in for a western Road trip[ four three to four weeks with some of his personel time and He really was not going to listen to any one about the winter vacations.

I was Thinking tropical island and romantic beach cabanas. He was thinking if he could not find a vacancy then we had a tent sleeping bags and foam mats.

By 40 minuts after stepping of the plane I had a one way ticket in my hand by bus to Virginia. I was returned two years latter when the judge declared the divorce petition moot, but kept the order on my husband and expanded it to include those that his father and friends deemed mal contents, Usually ex military. All were my husbands friends. In he was going to defy this order and go to Bavaria with me for the Millinials in Munich We had to have him jailed until we were in the air on December 23 We came back with the hope on his 45th birthday January the 5th that we could wipe the last 15 years out of memory and start with a clean slate in the new century and year.

We hoped he would just let every resentment go Including the last two weeks. Any place he wanted for the first vacation since His mother and fathers gift was even more horrible It included a wagon wheel with Rawhide straps set up in the front yard with the sign that that evening the community needed to come see the uppity slave get publicly whipped for his defiance There was also a dollar cleanup needed His mother was Taken was crying that she had given birth to him 45 years before had we turned him so much against us he would be this petty about it.

The Next nine years was violence. They would force my husband and he would ambush them latter beating them into the ground in revenge. My husband refused the down week in the canvas, The One That was to be forced was our church deacon claiming religous need but he used his church office to get my husband forced to work again.

He did have one hobby. Photographing things he found interesting when he went to and from work. The explicit video shows her writhing on a bed, kissing a woman, flashing her boobs and taking a foam bath. Some of the never seen before clips show Paris pretending to smoke a tampon in its wrapper.

Turns out Paris had put some of her belongings in a storage then didn't pay the bill. As is customary the contents were auctioned. While the girlfriend of TV host John Leslie a series of sex tapes were leaked to the internet. The revelations caused Leslie's career to stall, whereas Titmuss had raised her image to the point where she was offered various television presenting jobs.

Her tabloid-friendly looks and ease in front of the camera gained her a part-time post as a reporter for Leslie's friends Richard and Judy. Today she in in high demand. She was born in Versailles, France from Italian father and German mother. It was later discovered that she had previously made an adult film. How did you react when you heard that you were Miss FHM? I was on holiday with my parents in the Dominican Republic. On September 11, , the White Stripes were forced to cancel 18 tour dates due to Meg White's suffering from acute anxiety.

The following day, those problems caused the duo to cancel the remainder of their UK tour dates as well. Speculation is that the release of this tape caused the disruption. Here is a very good lesson for all of us. If you take you computer in for service and it has your private movies on it. Today she is a TV sports announcer for a commercial television channel in Hungary. She also makes frequent appearances on various Hungarian TV shows.

Csisztu was already a television star at age 8, when Norwegian Television made a portrait film about her as a young gymnast. The film, entitled "Zuzu" Csisztu's nickname was a huge success in Norway. Geri Halliwell rose to prominence in the late s as one of the five members of the girl group the Spice Girls, where she had been known as "Ginger Spice". The name has since been trademarked. Before starting her music career, Halliwell had worked as a nightclub dancer in Majorca, a presenter on the Turkish version of Let's Make a Deal, and as a glamour model.

At the age of 19, she appeared in The Sun as a Page 3 girl. Following her rise to fame with the Spice Girls, nude photos of Halliwell were republished in a number of more.

Pamela's previous movie with her ex Tommy Lee, won the AVN award for best renting and best selling movie of the year , and you can be sure that this sensational follow more. She also made up her own songs. When she was 12, she went to the music academy where she studied violin and took singing lessons during almost 8 years.

After she had left school, she performed at karaoke clubs, disco's, etc. She started her real career some years ago with a cover from Celine Dion: Her personal life is regularly featured in British tabloids and celebrity-based magazines. Her gigantic breasts are her trademark. One of British tabloid The Sun's most popular Page Three girls until readers voted Page Three girls should only be 'natural', no implants.

The Sun also ran a readers vote to decide if Jordan should get her second breast implant. Now it is being reported that there was also a movie hacked from the phone. Several sites have published screen shots of a brunette playing with her huge boobs and rubbing her pussy stating that the movie is in fact Kat Dennings. And she chose wisely selecting rolls from the stage to the big screen. But when she made a few playful movies with her lover she never though she would become famous for being the first celebrity to be filmed performing analingus on her very enthusiastic partner!

Lot's of pussy close ups and a recording of the couple having sex over Skype. She has become the latest victim of a serious breach in privacy.

Screenshots from what appear to be two different sex tapes surfaced, according to Page Six. The male with the year-old actress in the two minutes of leaked footage has not been identified. Now she has a dick in her mouth! Some actors get embarrassed when their private films get exposed. Chloe Sevigny just puts it right out there. Known for signing on to projects based on her interest in a good script rather than a hefty price tag, she has made the climb from indie princess to A list actress.

Makes you wonder why she gave Vincent Gallo an explicit, hardcore, cum in her mouth blowjob in the "Brown Bunny. Unlike many other celebrities Spencer had the good sense to ignore it.

Heather Graham needs Joseph Fiennes to strangle her and fuck her up against the wall. Bruce Willis actually got paid to bang petite Jane March for the entire length of this film. Jaime Pressly pours Champaign on her amazing tits and gets her slit licked.

This proves that daytime soap star Maeve Quinlan will do anything for a role on the big screen. Denise Richards gets Champaign poured on her amazing tits and has three way sex. Madonna having a boring day sucks her middle finger gets handcuffed and fucked in the ass. Halle Berry wants Billy Bob Thornton to make her feel good. She gets an Oscar. Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas conduct a clinic on how to mess up the sheets. French Actress Ludivine Sagnier murders some guy because he won't let her suck his cock.

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