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Rare death row slaying at California's San Quentin prison Oct 6. FBI investigation into Kavanaugh was a 'sham'. Experts on what we get wrong about 'corroboration'.
White officer who killed black teen found guilty. Vintage plane crash lands on busy highway. Man sent ricin letters to 'sent a message'. Body found as Maine teacher still goes missing.
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Brother of slain teacher meets genealogist who broke open cold case: Ex-girlfriend of DJ charged in teacher killing says she 'can't believe it': Police announce wedding DJ as suspect in cold case killing: Genetic genealogist breaks open cold case in 'a couple of days': Pennsylvania teacher's death grows cold: Teacher's gruesome death launches decades-long mystery: Renowned soccer player accused of allegedly raping model in Collins to vote 'yes' on Kavanaugh.
Entrepreneurs celebrate 'Shark Tank' show as it kicks off 10th season. Woman angry with ex-boyfriend sparked massive apartment fire: Officials Natasha Joyner was arrested on charges for allegedly starting a huge fire.
Flash flood concerns increasing as heavy rain targets central US As much as half a foot of rain could fall in north Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas. Vintage plane crash lands safely on busy highway The pilot managed to walk away from the landing. Man accused of sending letters laced with ricin 'wanted to send a message' The man has a history of making threats to government agencies. Chicago protesters celebrate police officer's guilty verdict Protestors listened to the guilty verdict of Jason Van Dyke from outside the court room and turned their demonstration into a celebration.
Chicago police officer guilty of murder of black teen Jason Van Dyke was found guilty of second-degree murder and 16 counts of aggravated battery of year-old Laquan McDonald. Key senators to vote 'yes' in Kavanaugh confirmation. Body found as authorities continue search for missing teacher Kristin Westin, 47, was last seen by her husband Sunday night, authorities said.
Genetic genealogy, police work credited with solving murders of woman, daughter The technology linked the suspect to several other unsolved, heinous crimes. Police officer found guilty of second-degree murder in shooting death of black teen The teen was killed by a Chicago police officer in Chicago police officer found guilty in Laquan McDonald Case Jason Van Dyke was found guilty of second-degree murder and 16 counts of aggravated battery with a weapon.
This day in history: Suspect in shooting of 7 South Carolina officers charged with murder Fred Hopkins, 74, allegedly ambushed officers who were serving a search warrant for sexual assault allegations for another individual at a home in What we get wrong about 'corroboration,' according to experts The Senate is expected to vote on Brett Kavanaugh's nomination Saturday.
Jury deliberates in Van Dyke trial Chicago braces for protests once the jury makes a decision in the case of a white police officer who killed a black teenager. Unidentified body found near home of missing teacher. Double murder suspect captured, ending manhunt in Tennessee The Montgomery County Sheriff's Office announced Friday that Kirby Gene Wallace, 53, who was wanted for killing two people, was in custody.
Double murder suspect captured, ending manhunt in Tennessee Kirby Wallace was captured after an extensive manhunt, police announced Friday. Funeral to be held for boy found dead in creek Maddox Ritch, who had autism and was nonverbal, disappeared while on a trip to Rankin Lake Park with his father and another adult on Sept. Funeral to be held for boy with autism found in creek after dayslong search Maddox Ritch went missing and prompted a massive search operation. Man pleads guilty to stabbing wife times Matthew Phelps pleaded guilty to first-degree murder for the death of his year-old wife, Lauren Hugelmaier Phelps, after an autopsy determined he Husband who had blamed cold medicine pleads guilty to killing his wife He will serve life in prison without the possibility of parole.
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Huge storm bringing flooding rain to middle of US A massive storm is dumping rain and snow in the center of the country. The legacy of a gay college student 20 years after his brutal murder Matthew Shepard was abducted, beaten and killed 20 years ago because he was gay. Trump mocks Franken for resigning amid allegations Pres. Trump mocked former Sen. Al Franken for resigning so quickly in the wake of allegations against him.
Man returns mom's overdue library book 84 years later The book belonged to the man's mother. He found it while cleaning her house. The lead investigator in the Weinstein case may have improperly coached a witness The NYPD said in a statement they are "fully confident in the overall case it has pursued.
Ex of DJ charged in teacher's '92 death says 'How did I roll by unscathed? Suspect in shooting of 7 officers in South Carolina identified A law enforcement source identified the suspect as Fred Hopkins. Senators review FBI Kavanaugh probe ahead of confirmation vote Senators are split along party lines about what they think of the FBI's supplemental investigation into allegations against Brett Kavanaugh. FBI completes investigation into Kavanaugh sex assault allegations Senators review FBI report as investigation into Kavanaugh sex allegations wraps, while Senate Democrats cry foul over scope of investigation.
Dazzling fall colors on display in northern Utah Colorful fall foliage was captured by a drone flying high above northern Utah's Ogden Valley. Suspect in custody after killing officer in South Carolina A suspect is in custody after a violent standoff with police resulted in seven officers shot and one killed.
Manhunt for Tennessee double murder suspect intensifies Tennessee community is on edge as search continues for suspected murderer Kirby Wallace. Pennsylvania car bomb that killed two men and a child ruled a murder-suicide Earlier this week, authorities had confirmed that the child, Jonathan Schmoyer, his father Jacob Schmoyer, 27, and friend David Hallman, 66, all from Wildfires ravage Northern California Aug New eruptions from Hawaii volcano create more lava destruction President Trump hosts French President Emmanuel Macron for first state visit.
An American classic by an American inventor: Lay's potato chips Aug First Mustang ever sold to be on display by Ford in Michigan US-made pen company celebrates 50 years of journeying to space./p>
I also like extra training after I finish with my Coach and teammates. I have a dream of playing in High School and College in United States and then someday pursue to the highest level if I get the nod. I coach high school basketball in the state of Ohio.
I am looking for players that have some size and maybe play for their countries national jr team. I can help you get a chance to play in college. Contact me at eljubbo comcast. Must not turn 19 before Aug. I just want know if there are any coaches in the us or uk who are interested in foreign players who want to pursue a second university degree either in UK or the USA.
I am a good basketball player who values disciplene,teamwork and defence playing as apoint guard in Kenya. Kindly reply through dondeyo yahoo. John McCrimmon — August 1, Hey Bala i might have a Private high school scholarship for you. Contact Coach John by email at adstreams bellsouth.
I am 14 years old and i do work hard i am in grade 9 and i need a high school scholarship to play professional basketball please help me and contact me at Georege Appiah — September 3, 6: Adetola Adedeji — October 1, Am Tola i live in Nigeria a studying in university of Abuja i love to play basketball for NBA and i know one day i will be there though the articule is quite sensible still yet i will be there.
Am a basketball player and am 1m92cm and i am 19 years old. Please contact me at kriche yahoo. Am interested in your deal. Marcel Webster — November 20, 8: Looking for female basketball players. I am looking for height and skill….. Marc Thormann — November 28, 5: I looking for a scholarship in the USA or something similar. My marks average is a 8. Please contact me through email marc. Teddy oparaugo — November 28, 5: Hi am teddy am new on here i just decided to drop some few words on here am a point guard playing for imo state here in nigerie am 18 years old an i also play for chariot basket ball club based in lagos nigeria i really need assistance on how toh make my basket balling better and i will also like to school and play basket ball over seas too thanks if i can get any help.
Hello My name is Sami And I am 19 years old, I won Two dunk Contests when i was 16 and a 3 point contest, I play point guard , second guard, and shooting guard, currently i am in malaysia studing Information Technology In Putra International College but we dont even have a basketball court, Please help me,i want to play in the states, i can bring my transcripts.
I realy want to play Highschool basketball in America. How could I play highschool Basketball in Amerika. If any high school coach is interested in me he could email me on: We are always looking for kids who are interested in becoming exchange students for our basketball program. You must be experienced in basketball and possess next level measurables. We also take Mid School students. My name is Yana Svintsitskaya,I live in Moscow. My height is cm 6. I train in Timiryazevskaya sports school of Olympic reserve 71, played for Spartak club, participated in the championship of Moscow , Sports Day I am passionate about playing basketball, and totally aspire to continue my basketball career and aducation in the United States.
My Email lovesuperman mail. Starting to accept exchange students for Christian Academy in North Carolina for season. You must have great basketball skills, and be at least six feet five inches tall. Age before August Please contact me at williamsignatius hotmail. Olorunnisola Gbemisola — May 16, 5: Malcolm Orgeron — May 23, 8: I am the Athletic Director and head coach of the basketball team at Breaux Bridge Christian Academy in Breaux Bridge Louisiana and we are looking for some foreign exchange students that play basketball.
Please contact me at CoachOrgeron aol. I played basketball everyday from the age of , and I regret not attending a university which accommodated a basketball program. I am now 21 years old, and I will drop everything in Australia right this second if I were to get a scholarship to play college basketball in America.
I am noted for my commitment, team work and consistent jump shot. Malcolm Orgeron — June 23, We were state champs and National Christian Champs this past year. We are looking for some foreign exchange students that play basketball. Iam a uganda playing in the national league, am through with my university studies and would like to enter the college basketball trials,am a shooter and i also point in ,my current team. Obusitswe Nkgodi — July 26, 5: So help me out n thank you in anticipation.
Please my details are: Jordan Walker — October 12, 4: I am a british basketball player who will be entering sixth form in a year and will be looking to come over and play ball in an american high school or college. TW — November 9, 9: Prepsearch is a free service designed to help international, juco and high school basketball players get more exposure to college basketball coaches. Submit your profile at http: Yoppi France Giay — January 19, I am 22 years old, my height 1.
Hi i am Habib usman. I hate limmatarity,liars and mostly backstabbbers. Pls i will like to ear from u soon coach! May God be with you. I noticed while reading through your comments that you made kind offers to foreign students, however , i saw that these comments were posted in and As it is now , I would like to ask if these comments still have any relevance.
I am interested in learning about any training camps or programs this year, that I may be able to attend in the USA that may give me exposure to coaches and potentially scholarship offers to study and play ball in the US next year. Does anyone have any ideas or advise. Ngwese Ngonge Jerryrogers — May 14, 9: I am basketball player at the university of Buea in Cameroon, ano d i wish to play professional bball oversea and make my dreams come true while contiuing my education.
Coach Malcolm Orgeron — May 22, 1: Joseph, You can contact me at coachorgeron aol. I can try to help you out all I can. We do not give scholarships but we are easily affordable.
Check out our website also at http: We have had 7 players in the last two years get basketball scholarships to colleges in the USA. I am a grade seven boy student with great passion for the game of basketball. I live in The Bahamas. I am wondering if it would be wise for me to soon move to the United States.
If so, at what grade level is recommended? What kind of opportunities could I expect once moving to the United States? Who should I contact and is there any charge.
Mayanja Charles Macnab — September 3, 4: Hu, My name is Mayanja Charles and am from Uganda. I play for my university, Makerere Business University, i have a dream to play college basketball and eventually NBA, i have very good grades and i had the best grades for A level secondary education.
Selina Okumu — January 30, 1: I am a Kenyan basketball player 6ft — power-forward. I recently was recruited in the national team due 2 my potential and hard work.
I am shortly here in the USA in Cleveland for a basketball camp and clinic and all the same try getting a basketball skolaship for my college education. I will highly appreciate any assistance offered to enable me achieve my dreams in basketball and career in aerospace engineering. Lyda Balmaceda — February 9, Interested in a good education and playing ball.
We all know that if hunger sets in one must look for food. Rather the situation is the other way round. Guys never give up,the future is bright and take your education seriously,cus there is life after basketball..
Contact me if you are a coach or an administrator who wanna work out some great deals for the talented guys we have in Africa and it would be my greatest honour to work with any of you who want my service ,maze yahoo. Keith mcclenny — March 2, 1: Obafemi Adeyemi — March 24, 4: I have played basket ball to the highest level in terms of colleges in Nigeria. I have also played against the best Univeristies in Nigeria. I was the best defensive player in my University which is owned by the ex-president of the country Bells University.
K with a distinction. I would like to get a scholarship to play basketball in the U. Pls contact me on this e-mail obafemi. Anderson Williams — March 25, 9: Am now using this medium to ask you if you will be interested in a tryout basketball clubs. If interested, Kindly forward to me your previous playing experience and your CV resume to have a look at it and send it to some clubs in America European basketball league.
Kindly send me your CV resume. Mark Abdelnour — April 14, 6: Hope to hear from you. My email is markabdelnour98 gmail. Am now using this medium to ask you if you will be interested in a trial outing basketball clubs.
Am a man with passion for basketball, a shooter,driver,and a drbler. I love to play for a team in USA. Am a Nigerian and a degree holder wit Bsc.
IT from university of education,Ghana. Would love to be enlisted for any scholarship in Basketball for a master in USA. Plz, gve me updates: Edward Nicandro — September 29, 2: Hello, my son Angelo is only 11 and he is very determined to get into a good college. I put a video on YouTube. On the video, he is 10 yrs old and was bumped up to play with the yrs olds senior league.
My name is james,i am a student of Sainik awasiya mahavidalaya. James Angelo — October 12, Hello fellow basketball players and college coaches. I am looking for a chance to attend a prep school to prove my basketball skills in the USA. My height is 5 10 and I weigh lbs. I play both point and the shooting guard position. My email address is jamesangeloco12 gmail. Lorenz Delumpines — November 1, 4: Lorenz Delumpines — November 1, 5: Lorenz Delumpines — November 3, 5: Lorenz Delumpines — November 8, 4: A highschool nd then college because i believe they have d best coaches and trainers capable of helping me improve in my game..
We have a basketball opening for players looking for clubs in the United Kingdom. Interested players should contact me through my personal email gregstones. Nontombi Matomela — January 16, Hi I am a south african mother of an 18 year old son who loves basketball with all his heart and would like to get an opportunity to play in the U.
He has just passed his matric and played basketball for his high school, a local club in Pretoria and played for a while for basketball SA.
Yair Tafoya Vazquez — February 4, 5: My averages are All that per game. I will apreciate your answer. Yair Tafoya tafoyayair gmail. Coach Rob — February 11, I am a head coach in Louisiana at a private high school. We provide scholarship opportunities to prospective, qualified student athletes who would like to play basketball in the United States.
We are interested in both boys and girls who are good students and have advanced skills in basketball. If you are interested please email me your contact info and a list of your accomplishments and level completed with grades in school. I have a basket ball player in India who played as team captain and scored upto national level runner up and also accredited with good record. Also played in America under student exchange program.
This student now is eagerly looking forward to get chance to free admission for Engineering Graduation in USA. Interested in study Engineering. I will love to finish my high school in the usa,am 17 year old still in secondary school,am from nigeria,am 6ft 3inches tall,seriously hoping to get a high school.
Coach Rob kindly email me , my email is coachsammy5 gmail. My name is Gusien Ishankuliey. I am from Turkmenistan. I am pro-basketball player. I am play for my national team. I have huge passion to bring up my game to next level and continue playing basketball in US college.
Please help me out my email is nepesovparahat gmail. Hello to all coaches and players,i would like to also present myself as a candidate for a basketball schorlarship. I am 19 years of age and i have jst completed my Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education. I am cm tall and have played basketball ever since i was in primary my passion for basketball is great. My facebook account is,Serienki Gisteo and my E. Am a very talented player.
Davies Daniel — March 19, 9: My name is Davies Daniel, am a 16 year old talented shooting guard, I wna get to play fr a university in the USA, I love to train always so as to learn more and improve my skills. I have previously coached in college and have numerous contacts to help receive a college scholarship. I have a great host family set up, as well. Please respond to this post if interested. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, lkke youu wrote the book in it or something.
I think that you could do with some pics to drive the messaage home a bit, but instead of that, this is great blog. Hi to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one is getting mpre from this web site, and your views are nice for new viewers. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when browsing from my iphone. If you have anny recommendations, please share.
But honestly, my results are so poor and really do real good in basketball. Sir, i feel i have a basketball future and for what i can study most are actually things concerning basketball.
We are currently the reigning Champions for our region and I would love to add a few players to assist with our future success as we plan to hold that title. If you are interested or have a reliable contact please feel free to reach out to be at Robynburton12 gmail. Here is my mail- donify gmail. Williams Anderson — June 7, 7: IMG Academy — June 25, 3: We are an elite prep school located in Bradenton,Fl, USA that specializes in the academic and athloetic development of driven, dedicated athletes.
We have a full time academy program for high school students and a post graduate program that provides various avenues for college placement for both domestic and international students. We are currently looking for international student-athletes for complete our rosters for our Academy team and National team. If you are interested please email me at haley. Mohammad Matin — July 19, 5: This is my mail: I am very tall and i have been working on my body lately,..
Latrell Beukes — August 6, I have huge dreams of studying and playing basketball Overseas. I would love to talk more with you. Coach Haddon Beukes Cell: Ajabor Rheny Nkechi — September 12, 6: Hi,am a great guard from Nigeria looking for a high school scholarship and am 16yrs old intersted coaches should inbox me mails2darlinsgirl yahoo.
Hi Coach Mark, I am interested in playing for you. I know am going to be a great addition to any team. Please contact me at david yahoo. Hi Coach Mark, this is David. I am having difficulties logging in to david yahoo. I have a dream of playing in High School and College in United States and then someday pursue to the highest level if I get scholarship.
I have good grades too. Kindly contact me coach mark. Ojukwu Martins — November 18, 2: Well,Am still in high school. I am from Nigeria. I was 16 October6. I am about 5ft 11inches tall. Everyday I have this mission inside of me that I want to become a great basketball someday.
More about me link Martinsjnr25 yahoo. Moute Chris — November 21, 7: Write with your resume please. Lorenz Delumpines — November 28, 7: Coach Mark i am interested im playing the wingman spot pls contact me lorenzdelumpines gmail. I totally accept your offer….. I will give u all the details u require.. Ruffai Abdulhamid — January 5, 5: My name is Ruffai.
Hamza Nusrat — January 5, 4: I represented myself in U17 and U19 as a captain. I can show you some of my clips as well. I am good academically as well. Im looking for scholarship to play ball in states.
Please coaches, contact me on matko. Lesedi Mphahlele — January 17, 4: I am greatly interested in playing basketball in the states and looking for a scholarship to support my passion. I have been playing in the starting 5 since and have been playing first team since grade 10 to date. Please contact me at kutusfalcon aol. Interested basketball players looking for team. Abdoulie — January 27, 6: I play for The Gambia national team as the youngest player assistant captain for my club team and captain of my regional team this past december.
Mvp of the division one national league and mvp off the regional tournament I believe I have a future with these skills. Pere — January 28, 6: I want study and play for some junior or community college AA degree. I love basket ball and i have so much passion for it, but I just started learning how to play,and I hope to play for NBA one day, I would appreciate any advice about the game from any one nndubuisi81 yahoo.
Coach Barnett — February 15, 2: Overseas players who are still in High School looking to come to America to further there developement should contact Coach Barnett at mtzionbasketball Yahoo. We offer ful sevis and paperwork. Very reasonable tution available! Coach perker — February 15, The most titled Greece club looking for male and female players for leagues and the season.
Howard Freese — February 18, 4: Dear Valued Customers, Thank you so much for contacting us regarding the loan you need. Dorothy Nelson — March 17, 9: They made my life a valuable one,and gave it a meaning. Though I was very nervous with the loan firm at the first place due to my previous bad experiences,especially when the issue of me settling the transfer charges came up,I hold on to my faith due to the fact that my relative referred me,got it cleared,and as God should have it.
I was faced with his hospital bills and was also faced with foreclosure at my apartment. You must be able to convince me real hard,and provide good proofs,before I can give you the full details of this legitimate loan officer.. Morris David — March 22, 8: Do you need a Loan at a low interest rate? Do you have Bad or No Credit? Do you need money to start up a business? Do you need a Car Loan? You want to re-mortgage your house? You have a right solution to all these!
For more Info on Loan and Loan terms, please send an Email. All Inquiries should be directed in the form of a formal e-mail with the contact Information found below: Brutus Galiy — March 29, 9: After you feel all this form you get back to us via email: Mr Brutus Galiy — April 4, 5: Do you need an urgent Guarantee and trusted loan? Reply to this Email: I think a really good option for international players is to play a year at a Post Grad Academy.
Here is some info on what that is — http: Im from Rwanda but i came to study in the US. I am 6ft 7 and 15 yrs old. Mrs Rose Berry — April 10, 4: We are Christian Organization formed to help people in needs of helps,such as financial help. Many studies explore why cohabitors are more at risk when they marry. The research suggests that there are two overlapping and reinforcing sources for risk: Cohabitors as a group are less committed to the institution of marriage and more accepting of divorce.
As problems and issues arise to challenge the marriage, they are more likely to seek divorce as the solution. In this regard, cohabitation is more like dating than marriage.
After marriage, a woman who cohabited before marriage is 3. Cohabitors identify themselves or the relationship as poor risk for long-term happiness more often than do non-cohabitors. There is evidence that some cohabitors do have more problematic, lower-quality relationships with more individual and couple problems than noncohabitors. Often this is why they feel the need to test the relationship through cohabitation.
There is the probability that some of these significant problems will carry over into the marriage relationship. Cohabitors tend to hold individualism as a more important value than non-cohabitors do. While married persons generally value interdependence and the exchange of resources, cohabitors tend to value independence and economic equality. These values do not necessarily change just because a cohabiting couple decides to move into marriage.
Cohabitors can allow themselves to marry because of pressure from family and others and because of pressure to provide a stable home for children. While it is generally better for the children in a cohabiting household or a child to be born to a cohabiting couple to be raised in a stable marriage, this is not by itself sufficient reason for the marriage. While family and friends are often right to encourage marriage for a cohabiting couple, a marriage made under such pressure is problematic unless the couple chooses it for more substantial reasons.
Cohabitors are demonstrated to have inappropriately high expectations of marriage that can lead them to be disillusioned with the ordinary problems or challenges of marriage. Cohabitors generally report lower satisfaction with marriage after they marry than do noncohabitors. There is danger that they think they have "worked out everything" and that any further challenges are the fault of the institution of marriage. The experience of cohabitation changes the attitudes about commitment and permanence and makes couples more open to divorce.
Cohabitors have more conflict over money after they marry than noncohabitors do. Often they have set patterns of autonomy or competition about making and handling money during the time of cohabitation and this carries over to the marriage. Many couples have one pattern of money handling in the cohabitation household and have not discussed clearly how one or the other individual expects this pattern to change after marriage.
Cohabiting partners can have a lesser felt need to protect the relationship while they are cohabiting because they do not see it as permanent. If this is the case, some will begin dysfunctional patterns of problem-solving. The existence of the partner's children in the relationship or stress over the permanency of the relationship are common causes of conflict and sometimes violence.
Cohabitors who marry are less effective at conflict resolution than those who did not cohabit. Either a fear of upsetting an uncommitted relationship or the lack of need to protect a temporary relationship can be factors that lead cohabiting couples into poor patterns of conflict resolution which they then carry into marriage.
Reinforcement of negative family of origin patterns can also have occurred in the cohabiting relationship and be carried over to marriage. Both of these patterns are common issues that dating couples carry into marriage, but they can be exaggerated by the cohabitation experience. Part Two Pastoral Issues with Cohabiting Couples in Marriage Preparation Preparation for marriage begins long before the couple approaches the priest or pastoral minister.
In his Apostolic Exhortation On the Family Familiaris Consortio , 81 , Pope John Paul II strongly urges that young people be educated about chastity, fidelity, and the meaning of marriage as a sacrament.
Religious education, parish based catechetical programs, and chastity curricula in elementary schools are all part of this effort. The high school years, in particular, can be a prime time for dealing with these issues, when dating, and the desire to date, are foremost in the minds of adolescents. During this time they can be given the spiritual foundation that helps them to make informed, faith-filled and life-giving choices throughout their lives.
With this foundation, it can be hoped that couples will choose not to cohabit before marriage. Nonetheless, we know that many couples do live together before they marry. Many pastoral ministers identify cohabitation as the most difficult issue they deal with in marriage preparation. They are faced with the dilemma of addressing a situation that is contrary to our moral principles while attempting to validate and sanctify the relationship of the couple through the Sacrament of Marriage Archdiocese of Miami, Marriage Preparation Guidelines , ; Diocese of Phoenix, Marriage Preparation Policy Handbook , We offer the following pastoral suggestions to priests, deacons, and pastoral ministers who prepare couples for marriage.
They are intended to provide general guidance only, since each couple's pastoral needs and circumstances are unique. In developing these suggestions we join with many dioceses in turning to Familiaris Consortio for inspiration. He recognizes that various factors can lead a couple into a free union. These include difficult economic, cultural or religious situations, extreme ignorance or poverty, and a certain psychological immaturity that makes couples afraid to enter into a permanent union.
The pastors and the ecclesial community should take care to become acquainted with such situations and their actual causes, case by case. They should make tactful and respectful contact with the couples concerned and enlighten them patiently, correct them charitably and show them the witness of Christian family life in such a way as to smooth the path for them to regularize their situation" Familiaris Consortio , In the discussion below, we attempt to take the Holy Father's advice and apply it to concrete questions that arise during marriage preparation with cohabiting couples.
Our goal is to work through the challenges--"smooth the path"--so that cohabiting couples will be able to celebrate a sacramental marriage. In the decade following the document's publication, pastoral experience and diocesan policies have borne out the wisdom of this approach.
The majority of policies and practices follow a middle way between the two extremes, one that integrates general correction with understanding and compassion. Marriage preparation is an opportunity for evangelization and catechesis. The Gary Diocese points out that "this is a? This calls for pastoral support in the couple's plans for the future rather than chastising them for the past" Guidelines for Marriage as a Sacrament , Diocese of Gary, While couples need to be welcomed with the gospel values of love, understanding, and acceptance, they also need to be challenged by the gospel message of commitment and faithfulness.
Faithful to Each Other Forever points out that in the past pastoral ministers often overlooked the cohabitation, not pressing the couple too hard for fear of alienating them from the church. Because of the awkwardness of dealing with the situation, some chose to ignore the entire issue. Increasingly, however, pastoral ministers have abandoned this approach in favor of addressing the cohabitation gently but directly.
The Church has consistently taught that human love "demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another" that can only be made in marriage Catechism of the Catholic Church , Since cohabitation violates the Church's teaching about sexual love and marriage, church ministers must speak and teach about it. How can pastoral ministers know if a couple is cohabiting? This can be a delicate situation. Very few diocesan policies offer suggestions for surfacing this issue during marriage preparation.
Given the potentially harmful effects of cohabitation on marital stability, however, pastoral ministers are beginning to recognize a responsibility to raise the issue. Some couples are quite open about their living arrangements. A pastoral minister who is sensitive but straightforward can encourage a similarly candid attitude on the part of the couple.
Some pastoral ministers discuss cohabitation in general terms, noting the issues it raises and the potentially harmful effects on the marriage. However it surfaces, cohabitation should be discussed early in the marriage preparation process.
If it is not possible or advisable to discuss it immediately, it should be flagged as an issue to be addressed at a subsequent face-to-face meeting. The general goal of marriage preparation with all couples is the same: To create a clear awareness of the essential characteristics of Christian marriage: For cohabiting couples, a specific goal may be added: To encourage the couple to reflect on their situation and why they decided to cohabit and to provide insights into possible consequences, factors that may present special challenges to them or put them at risk for later marital disruption.
See, for example, marriage preparation policies in the Dioceses of Rockford , Sioux Falls , and Peoria , among others. To accomplish this second goal, the pastoral minister invites the couple to reflect on their experience of living together and its implications for sacramental marriage.
Why did you originally choose to live together? How does the commitment you wish to make now differ from the commitment you made when you decided to cohabit? How does your family and community feel about your living together? How do these feelings affect you? What are your reasons for wanting to marry at this time? Is there any reluctance to marry? Is pressure from family or around children a major reason for marriage now? What have you learned from your experience of living together?
How do you expect your relationship to grow and change in the future? Does either of you expect marriage to be free from times of discontent?
How well do you deal with conflict? Have you agreed on any changes in the way you will handle money after you are married? Why do you want to marry in the Catholic Church at this time? Do you understand the concerns the Church has had about your cohabiting situation? What do you think will be the largest barriers to a lifelong marriage for you? How do you think you will be especially challenged by the vow of faithfulness?
After these discussions, the pastoral minister may ask the couple how the information gained from the preparation process has raised their understanding of church teaching and cohabitation, and what response they will make in light of this knowledge.
At this point the pastoral minister may ascertain the couple's readiness and ability to enter into a sacramental marriage. Some diocesan policies e. Each has distinct pastoral implications. For couples who have seriously planned for marriage, and who decided to live together for practical reasons such as finance or convenience, the pastoral minister can focus on their understanding of the meaning of sacrament and the commitment to permanence and stability in marriage.
For couples whose cohabitation seems more casual, and for whom no previous commitment seems to have been made, in addition to the treatment of commitment and sacrament, special attention is given to overall readiness for marriage and for permanent lifetime commitment.
For couples whose reasons for seeking marriage are more for the sake of appearance, or to accommodate social or family needs, and little evidence is presented to indicate either spiritual or psychosocial maturity for marriage, a postponement of further marriage preparation, at least at this time, can be considered. Many diocesan marriage preparation policies suggest that pastoral ministers encourage cohabiting couples to separate.
They recognize that this is a desirable goal to propose and to achieve -- not because the Church is so concerned with the fact of separate addresses but because it declares that conjugal love needs to be definitive; "it cannot be an arrangement 'until further notice'" Catechism of the Catholic Church , Even if the couple chooses not to separate, they can be encouraged to live chastely before marriage.
The challenge to separate or, if continuing to live together, to live chastely, can be fruitfully posed at the end of a process in which the church's teaching on marriage and sexuality is carefully explained.
This approach has been adopted by the bishops of Kansas, among others. They point out that during marriage preparation couples must make decisions. One of these concerns living together. Priests and pastoral ministers point out the many good reasons not to cohabit, and invite couples to follow the teachings of the Church. As the Kansas bishops stess: The Diocese of Peoria follows a similar approach.
The couple's experience has changed their hearts" Sioux Falls. Separation can give the couple new perspectives on their relationship; it is also a tangible sign of the couple's free, loving decision to accept the Church's vision of marriage and sexuality.
Some couples are not normally asked to separate, e. Ideally, before challenging a couple to separate the minister knows their particular circumstances and why they decided to live together. A couple may have what seem to them good reasons e. A change in living arrangements can pose practical problems. The Diocese of Sioux Falls, recognizing this situation, notes that "Parishes may be challenged to help couples cope with such difficulties so that they can live apart" Preparing for Marriage in the Diocese of Sioux Falls.
Marriage preparation may continue even if the couple refuses to separate. Pastoral ministers can be assured that to assist couples in regularizing their situation is not to approve of cohabitation. In these cases additional time might be needed to address the issues raised by cohabitation. For example, a concern for the impact of cohabitation on the couple's freedom to marry could be a reason to delay the marriage until this issue is sufficiently explored as part of marriage preparation Archdiocese of Detroit; Archdiocese of Miami.
A few dioceses point out that cohabitation may prolong the marriage preparation process because of the need to evaluate the couple's attitudes and understanding of the Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality. Since couples have a natural and canonical right to marriage, any delay beyond the normal waiting period for all couples is a serious matter.
Care must be taken to ensure that delay is not used as a punishment for a couple's continued cohabitation. With all couples, celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation is properly encouraged as part of marriage preparation for the Catholic party or parties. It should be noted that absolute moral rectitude is not demanded for sacraments to be celebrated.
Familiaris Consortio offers this guidance: But pastors must also understand the reasons that lead the church also to admit to the celebration of marriage those who are imperfectly disposed" The document further points out that the baptized couple, by their right intention, have already accepted God's plan regarding marriage and, at least implicitly, consent to what the church intends to do when it celebrates marriage.
Many diocesan marriage preparation policies note the possibility of scandal. Scandal is a multi-faceted reality.
In society as a whole, cohabitation neither carries the stigma nor causes the scandal that it did just two generations ago. As the bishops of Kansas point out, "As society no longer adheres to traditional moral values and norms, scandal becomes less and less a concern to many people" A Better Way , p. The burden of scandal falls not just on the cohabiting couple, but on our sexually permissive society. The cohabiting couple is living contrary to the Church's teaching on marriage and sexual love.
By acting as if they are married when they are not, they risk scandalizing the believing community. It is also possible to cause scandal, however, through a lack of understanding and compassion for couples in irregular situations. Whether and how couples are welcomed can mean the difference between alienation from the Church or renewed involvement. Moreover, parents and pastoral ministers may have a different opinion of how scandal occurs.
Parents who were deeply distressed by their children's cohabitation are relieved when the son or daughter approaches the Church for marriage. They believe that the scandal is easing. At this point, however, priests and pastoral ministers fear that the scandal is about to start. Both viewpoints have some merit, and point to the need for understanding different perspectives on scandal.
A few diocesan policies suggest that a simple wedding ceremony is most appropriate for cohabiting couples. Those policies that explain "simple" usually do so in terms of number of people in the wedding party. This is the most common consequence of a failure to separate.
One policy states that since the couple is choosing to appear as husband and wife to the community, then their wedding ceremony should reflect this choice and be small and simple. The Code of Canon Law gives no special consideration for marriages of cohabiting couples.
The general norm states that the pastor and the ecclesial community are to see that the couple has a "fruitful liturgical celebration of marriage clarifying that the spouses signify and share in the mystery of unity and of fruitful love that exists between Christ and the Church" c. Some pastoral ministers are concerned that a simple celebration hinders the couple's ability to understand the communal dimension of the sacrament. They point out that cohabiting couples are the least likely to realize the involvement of the Christian community in their marriage.
Having a wedding with only immediate family and witnesses simply underscores their impression that marriage is a private event. They need to appreciate the reciprocal commitment between the couple and the Christian community. The Archdiocese of Omaha points out that even for cohabiting couples the celebration of marriage is an act of the Church's public worship.
Marriage preparation for cohabiting couples should not begin with or be based upon a decision about the kind or size of the wedding ceremony that will be allowed. Since widespread cohabitation is a fairly recent phenomenon, many pastoral ministers are still learning how to address the issue in marriage preparation. The Committee on Marriage and Family hopes that this paper provides helpful guidance, but it acknowledges that more can be done.
One challenge is to provide additional formation for those who prepare couples for marriage so that they can more effectively handle the issues raised by cohabitation. Another challenge is learning how to discuss cohabitation in the various settings in which marriage preparation takes place.
Above all, when cohabiting couples approach the church for marriage we encourage pastoral ministers to recognize this as a teachable moment. Here is a unique opportunity to help couples understand the Catholic vision of marriage. Here, too, is an opportunity for evangelization.
By supporting the couple's plans for the future rather than chastising them for the past, the pastoral minister can draw a couple more deeply into the church community and the practice of their faith. Treated with sensitivity and respect, couples can be helped to understand and live the vocation of Christian marriage. References for Part One The three starred references are especially recommended since they offer a broad treatment of the topic. Selectivity or Causal Influence? Booth, Alan; Johnson, David.
The Significance for Psychological Well-Being. A Comparison of Relationship Quality. What's Happening to Family? The Declining Significance of marriage: Changing Family Life in the United States. Center for Demography and Ecology: University of Wisconsin-Madison, Cohabitation, Marriage, and Union Stability: University of Wisconsin, Madison, Clarkberg, Marin; Stolzenberg, Ross M.
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